Panic Attack Diary 2
February 15th, 2012
I have to report another ‘almost attack’ that happened on Monday, February 13th 2012.
I am in school finishing up my bachelors degree and this semester all of my classes are in a row on Mondays and Wednesdays so it feels like a really long day. I had my first test for one of my art history classes on Monday and I did study but I felt like I studied the wrong things when it came time to take the test. There were two parts and I did alright on the first part, I think, but then the second part just felt overwhelming. Honestly, the teacher seems as scrambled as an egg and it showed in her test-preparing too. I just felt completely overwhelmed during the last part of the test and almost started crying. But I decided I didn’t want to cry in class so I had to tell myself to calm down and distract myself enough to finish the test. And normally, my anxiety would be gone after the test is over but this time it was lingering with me still. My friend was waiting for me after class to go get something to eat and I told her about it so she helped to distract me. It took a while to fully calm down after that – into the next day.
In the past I’ve been able to qualify for disability help from my school with my clinical depression and anxiety. I know I can go back to that help but I’m trying this time to not fall back on that. So it’s hard to know you have that as backup and then during a test, when the disability help would help me the most, to complete the test without the help. But I pressed on and made it through.
